Annihilate Me: Holiday Edition Page 8

  “I need to be maneuvered,” Lisa said.

  “Make it happen. But here’s the deal. Just one beer for Tank. I don’t want him to get all sleepy on you. We can’t ruin Operation Lisa Gets Laid.”

  “Exactly. One beer. That’s it—then we’re all off to bed.”

  “Done. In fact, we should offer snacks for the boys. That’ll soak up the booze.”

  “Bonanza.”

  I finished shaking and winked at her. “Alex and Tank?” I called. “Would you like some snacks. It looked like we’ve got everything in here.”

  “I could eat something,” Tank said.

  “Same here,” Alex agreed. “We never had dinner, Jennifer.”

  I looked at Lisa. “Protein,” I said in a low voice to Lisa. “There’s cheese in the fridge. See what else you can find. I’ll get the crackers. We’ll feed them power fuel. Maybe we’ll both get lucky tonight.”

  “You could do it again?”

  “Sweetheart, I can’t get enough of that man.” I kissed her on the cheek. “And I can’t wait until I hear you say the same thing about Tank.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The next day was a blur of activity.

  In the morning, Alex and I woke early and cuddled in bed before we gave in to the sounds coming from the floor below us.

  “Blackwell and the girls are up,” I said. “We should shower and join them.” I bumped my bottom against him. “Unless you have other ideas.”

  He had other ideas.

  It was another ninety minutes before we were showered, dressed and ready to start a day that didn’t begin with Lisa or Tank. They weren’t up yet. When we went into the kitchen, Blackwell had a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and Alexa and Daniella were reading the contessa’s chocolate cream pie recipe.

  “Good morning,” Daniella said.

  “Good morning,” Alex and I said.

  “It’s going to snow today,” Alexa said. “And not the toxic kind of snow you’d find in Manhattan. Here, it will be clean, fresh snow, mostly free of carbons and other pollutants, which kill you. If it’s sticky snow, I’m totes going to make a snowman.”

  I looked out one of the kitchen windows. “It is cloudy out,” I said.

  “Hello. My iPhone doesn’t lie. I talked with Siri first thing and she said that snow is on the way. How Christmassy is that?”

  I smiled at her. “Pretty Christmassy. Let me know when and if you build that snowman, because I might want to help.”

  “Loves it,” she said.

  I looked over at Blackwell, who was wearing white silk pajamas, a gorgeous white robe and pretty white slippers. I’d never seen her like this before. She’d run a brush through her bob, but her face was free of makeup, which told me that she felt at home here. She was relaxed and having fun. I felt a rush of affection for her when she said, “Jennifer and Alex—coffee. I made it just for you. After all the snacks I see the four of you binged on last night, I suggest that you take your coffees black. But that’s just me. If you want to indulge in cream and sugar, so be it. I’m getting all of our asses back in shape when we return to Manhattan.”

  “Has anyone seen Lisa or Tank?” Alex asked.

  Daniella immediately looked up at us. “Not yet. After last night, they’re probably too tired. I’m betting that they’re going to sleep in.”

  “Daniella,” Blackwell said.

  “Oh, come on,” she said. “As if I was the only person who heard them rocking and rolling last night.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “Well, it kind of is the point. Alex asked where they were. I was just saying that they’re likely down for the count after all of that noise they make—at one point, I thought their bed was going to break. They kept me awake, not that I minded much. I listened to everything. Tank’s so big and Lisa’s so tiny. I don’t even know how those two worked it out, but they obviously did. Again and again and again and again.”

  It might have happened! But Daniella could be exaggerating. I won’t know for sure until I talk with Lisa.

  “Noise?” I said.

  “Lisa’s a moaner.”

  “And Tank’s a groaner.”

  “Girls,” Blackwell said.

  “Well, they are,” Daniella said. “And, hey—I’m happy for them. It sounds as if they had a great night. Before we left for Maine yesterday, I told everyone that I could feel their sexual tension. So, whatevs. I was right.”

  “I see,” I said. “Well. I think I’ll have some coffee. Alex?”

  “I’d love a cup.”

  “Great. I’ll make us each a cup of coffee. That’s what I’ll do. Look at me, making coffee.”

  “Why are you talking so much?” Alexa said. “And acting all weird?”

  “Because she knows her friend got banged last night,” Daniella said.

  At that moment, the two sisters launched into a fit of giggles while my heart lifted and a defeated Blackwell sighed.

  * * *

  By mid-morning, it was snowing. Large, thick flakes fell from the sky in such a way that I knew from experience that Alexa would get her snowman if it snowed hard enough

  Blackwell, Daniella and Alexa were deep into making their chocolate cream pie when Lisa and Tank entered the living room from downstairs. When they came into the room, Alex and I were on our knees going through the boxes of ornaments, tinsel and strings of colored LED lights he had his staff buy before we came here. I looked sidelong at them.

  “Good morning,” I said.

  “Good morning!” Lisa said.

  “Good morning, Alex. Jennifer,” Tank said.

  “Sorry we’re so late,” Lisa said.

  “Late for what?” I asked. “We’re here on holiday. You’re supposed to sleep in if you want. Look, Alex and I are going through ornaments and seeing what we have to work with before we decorate the tree. Why not have some coffee and breakfast while Alex and I sort through the boxes. And check it out,” I said, pointing to the windows behind the tree. “It’s snowing. If we get enough snow, Alexa and I are going to build a snowman.”

  “I want to help,” Alex said.

  “And Alex is going to join us. If you want to join in, join in. But get some coffee first and ease into the day. Try the bagels—they’re excellent. Cream cheese is in the fridge. Come back and hang out with us when you’re ready.”

  “OK,” Lisa said.

  You totally got laid, I thought with a thrill. I can see it in your eyes. Tank finally made the big move, which for him I know is a commitment!

  I looked at Alex when they left. “It’s a done deal,” I said.

  “I have a feeling you’re happy about that?”

  “You don’t even know.”

  “I might have an idea.”

  “You know I want them to be together.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  I leaned toward him and kissed him on the lips. “You know, should they need their privacy, we can always send them to a certain no-tell motel.”

  “That we could.”

  “It would be an act of kindness.”

  He grinned at that, and those dimples of his that I loved so much appeared amidst the stubble. “You’re killing me.”

  “You know what I can’t wait for?”

  “I think I have an idea. It’s probably the same thing I’m eager to share.”

  “It is. Telling everyone tonight the date of our wedding. Asking Lisa if she’ll be my matron of honor. And you asking Tank if he’ll be your best man. Tonight is going to be epic.”

  “The rest of our lives is going to be epic,” he said.

  * * *

  It wasn’t until after lunch that I was able to steal Lisa away. While Tank and Alex were watching a football game in the living room, she was in the kitchen with Blackwell and the girls while they made their chocolate cream pie.

  “Come and help me find something to wear tonight?” I asked her.

  “Sure.”

  “Tonight will be dressy, don’t
you think?” I asked Blackwell.

  “It’s Christmas Eve, for God’s sake. Of course, it will be dressy. I’m wearing Dior. The girls will be wearing couture. I expect nothing less from the rest of you. Tonight, we all turn it out. I might even join you in a martini because, you know—no carbs.”

  “Dressy it is, but now I need help deciding between two dresses.” I looked at Lisa. “Let’s go upstairs so I can show you the options.”

  “And so you can get the deets,” Daniella said.

  “Daniella.”

  “That’s what they’re going to do. Hello. Captain Obvi.”

  “You really have no filter, do you?” Alexa said.

  “Why should I?”

  “Anyway,” I said to Lisa. “Let me show you what I have in mind.”

  We went upstairs to the master bedroom. I closed the door behind us, sat on the bed, and looked at her. “Give it all to me,” I said.

  “Apparently, you already know pretty much everything. I can see it on your face. And by the way, how do you know?”

  “Daniella, Alexa and Blackwell might have heard you.”

  “Oh, God.”

  “Don’t worry about it. They’re unfazed and happy for you.”

  “We tried to keep it down, but Tank? Let’s just say that he’s anatomically correct to the tenth power. There was a moment there when I thought that there was no way that thing was going to fit inside of me. It was like a baby’s arm holding out an apple.”

  “There’s an image.”

  “Well, it’s true. And he was wonderful. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew just how to prepare me. And everything worked out—or in and out, in this case—just fine.”

  “That’s all well and good, but regardless of what I might have heard second hand, I still don’t know what led up to the big moment.”

  “You’re so needy.”

  “Actually, I’m so happy.”

  She sat beside me on the bed. “OK, so it was fantastic. I’ve written about the zombie apocalypse, but last night it was all about the love apocalypse.”

  “Who made the first move?”

  “You’re getting ahead of me. Let me talk.”

  “So talk. But get to it.”

  “Our plan worked. After we limited Tank to one glass of beer and filled him full of protein last night—have you ever seen a man eat so much cheese?—we all went to bed. You know that part. Here’s what you don’t know. When we went downstairs, I did what you told me to do. I put on that sexy red neglige that I bought that day at Saks. It’s super cute and super saucy. I think my nipples were rock hard the moment I put it on, which was helpful.”

  “I believe your nipples were rock hard the first time you met Tank.”

  “Whatever. Anyway, Tank was in his bedroom. Clearly, I needed to say goodnight to him. And so I did. I went to the adjoining door, saw that the lights were dimmed, and when I knocked and stepped inside, he was standing beside his bed getting undressed. Apparently, he sleeps in his boxers—nothing else. When I saw him, I swear to you that time stopped. I know that sounds like a total cliche, but it did. He was wearing these tight-fitting boxer shorts that left nothing to the imagination. All I saw was the bulge in those shorts, his arms, a chest that’s as broad as the map of America, his ridiculous abs and thighs, and I just stared at him while he looked at me. I said that I was coming in to say goodnight. He said, ‘Is that all you wanted to do?’”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Oh, girl, you don’t even know.”

  “Keep going.”

  She put her hand on my knee. “I said, ‘I don’t know what you mean. I was just coming to say goodnight.’ And he said, ‘I think we both know better.’ Then he walked over to me, he took me in his arms, and he kissed me full on the lips. And it wasn’t just any kiss. There was meaning and passion behind it. A part of me thinks there even might have been relief in that kiss.”

  “I’m dying here. If it wasn’t so early, I’d want a martini.”

  “Me too!”

  “How was he in bed?”

  “By far, the best and most generous lover I’ve had, even though I’ve only been with two men. Still, he was amazing. It wasn’t at all about him last night. It was about him pleasing me. Every time I tried to do something that might turn him on—like going down on him, which I really wanted to do—he just took control and turned the tables on me. He was fastidious and exacting. And loving. He was rough at some points, but mostly, he was tender and present. He kept holding my gaze with his. I think we went for a good three hours or so. It was incredible.”

  “I can’t believe it finally happened.”

  “Neither can I.”

  “What was said afterward?”

  “It’s more like what was said during.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Ummm, well, I might have told him how I felt….”

  I blinked at her.

  “I might have said that I loved him.”

  “Oh, no, you didn’t.”

  “I did, and I do. I am in love with him. I’ve been waiting months for last night to happen. Finally, I was truly intimate with him. So I told him how I felt.”

  “What did he say to you?”

  “That’s the thing,” she said.

  “What’s the thing?”

  “He didn’t respond. When I said it, he immediately came.”

  “And what are we to make of that?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe saying that you loved him pushed him over the edge.”

  “I’d like to think it did, but he never said that he loved me. At that point, we were spent, and I felt like a fool for being so open with him. I think I jumped the gun. But he did smile at me. And he did tuck me into his arms after I said it. He held me close to him, and he nuzzled his lips against my neck and kissed me there before we fell asleep.”

  “How did you sleep?”

  “Like a baby. He held me all night.”

  “Obviously, this is moving in the right direction.”

  “I just wish he’d returned the sentiment.”

  “It’s coming. Maybe tonight. We need to make tonight happen. It’s Christmas Eve for God’s sake. What are you wearing?”

  “Disappointment. Ruin. Mayhem.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that Blackwell and her daughters are wearing couture. I have a feeling that you’ll be wearing couture. So will Alex. And what am I wearing? Let’s just say that the dress I brought with me was marked down seventy percent at Bloomingdale’s. It cost two-hundred dollars, which is what I can afford. It’s pretty, but it’s nothing special. There’s no way that it’s going to compare to what everyone else will be wearing.”

  “Do you think that will matter to Tank?”

  “Not at all. He could care less about that sort of thing. But it will matter to me. I want to knock his socks off.”

  I got off the bed and went to my closet. I pulled out a gift-wrapped package and brought it to her. “Here’s one of my Christmas gifts to you,” I said.

  She looked surprised. “What’s this?”

  “Open it.”

  “Oh, Jennifer, you didn’t have to do this.”

  “You don’t know what I’ve done.”

  “Yes, I do. I know you as well as I know myself. Oh, God. What have you done?”

  “Come on. Open it.”

  She tore off the wrapping paper and looked at the box. On it, it said “Prada.”

  “Do you remember that day?” I said to her. “All those months ago? When I was invited to interview at Wenn? You and I went to Prada and I bought a suit that I couldn’t afford. You encouraged me to do so. So in the spirit of that, here’s what I found for you. You deserve something special from Prada. Go ahead—open it.”

  “What did you get me?” She opened the box, saw the bright red material, and swooned when she pulled out the dress and held it in front of her. “Oh, Jennifer!”

  “And I have Louboutins to match.
You’ll get those in a moment.”

  “Look at this dress.”

  I had to admit, it was something. It was a silk, A-line, full-length evening dress with beading at the throat and off one shoulder at the neckline. It was sleeveless and it had a long, dramatic train that Lisa could pick up behind her and use it to flirt with. The dress was so red, it was almost beyond red. But red is what Tank liked on Lisa, so red is what Tank was about to get.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she said.

  “I brought all of my jewelry with me,” I said. “We’ll make sure you’re taken care of there, as well.”

  “I wonder if it fits?” she said.

  “It’s your size, but I’ve already talked to Blackwell about it. If it doesn’t fit exactly right, she said not to worry—she has her share of tricks. But you need to try it on now,” I said. “Otherwise, she won’t have time to fix it if it needs to be fixed. It’s in your size—that perfect size zero that I’ll never obtain. But with couture, you never know, so Blackwell is prepared to play backup should we need her.”

  “This is couture?”

  “It is.”

  “It’s not off the rack?”

  “In fact, it’s not.”

  “I’m speechless. Let me try it on now.

  “I’ll get the shoes, then I’ll get Blackwell.”

  “I’m so excited!”

  “Wait until you see the necklace I have in store for you. And the bracelet and the earrings. Tonight, I want you to make an entrance. I want Tank in that living room waiting for you when we’re serving champagne. I want the anticipation to build. I want him to see you when you walk into the room, and I want to hear the gasps from the girls, whom we can rely on to provide that. This is going to do it for him. I promise.”

  She pulled it fully out of the box, stood, and held it in front of her. “It’s so light.”

  “It’s for you,” I said.

  Thirty minutes later, Blackwell joined us in the bedroom and gave swift approval. “It’s sublime,” she said. “There’s nothing to be done. Look how it fits here and here, Jennifer. Perfection. And the train—she’ll have fun with that. The length is just right with the shoes, which I have to say are marvelous, so I’m happy to see that you’ve been paying attention and learning from me. Lisa, turn so I can clasp the necklace around your throat. That’s right. Oh, how pretty. Look at how it dips between her cleavage, Jennifer. It might as well be a glimmering arrow pointing at her boobs, which I assume is the point. What man can resist that? Now the bracelet. Here—I’ll do it for you. Lisa, stop trembling, for God’s sake. You’re going to shake the entire house like you did last night. Hold out your wrist for me. Let us see. Beautiful. Here are your earrings. Put them on, but with a steady hand, otherwise you’ll draw blood. Oh, yes,” she said, stepping back beside me to appraise Lisa. “It’s really quite something. Are you wearing your hair up or down? Let’s see if you answer correctly.”